A Good Prayer For People Pleasers

When it comes to the topic of serving or pleasing Christ and not men, 1 Corinthians 7:22-23 offers a strong message on how we ought to live our lives as Christians. When we realize we are servants of Christ, we can actively aim not to please men but Christ, for He is our Lord. Realizing this also relieves us of the burden of trying to be liked by others. After all, we know that in Christ, we don’t even have to be liked, for God is well-pleased with us being in Christ.

Heavenly Father, reveal to me the precious truth of my identity in Christ so that it will make its way to my very being and allow me to live my life as His servant and not as a servant of men. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

The Importance of a Servant Identity

Paul’s letter to the Romans is one of the greatest pieces written in the Bible. It is known to Bible scholars as the “constitution” of the Gospel. Scholars would say that even if, for some reason, all the books in the Bible are removed but the Epistle of Paul to the Romans still exists, Christianity can still prosper. Even if the whole letter to the Romans is removed and only Romans 8 remains, Christianity can still prosper. That is how rich the letter is.

As rich and essential as the letter to the Romans may be, Paul primarily introduced himself not as an apostle, missionary, or theologian. He was but a servant of Christ (Romans 1:1). Why is that important? It is because it realigns us Christians with our true identity as we live our lives. Yes, part of our identity is that we are forgiven, daughters and sons of God, holy and beloved. But we are also servants of Christ. Our identities are not shaped by us being worship leaders, church administrators, disciple-makers, small group leaders, missionaries, or volunteers. Instead, they are shaped by us being servants of Christ. We do those services not because we have specific titles but because we are servants of Christ. As we serve from the heart of service to Christ, our actions become more about Christ and His glory rather than about ourselves.

The Impact of Being a Servant of Christ

What is the impact of such an identity? We, who have been brought from the domain of darkness to the domain of light (Colossians 1:13) and bought with the blood of Christ (1 Corinthians 7:23), are not slaves/bondservants left to sin (Romans 6:18 You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.). We are not ourselves, but Christ (Galatians 2:20). Hence, we now live our lives for Christ. This also means that we are to die to ourselves, for dying to ourselves means that our allegiance and master is Christ (1 Corinthians 7:22-23).

Since we are bondservants of Christ, due to being called into sonship with God and bought with the precious blood of Christ, we live to honor and please God, not men. Living such a life means that we will end up displeasing men, whether outside or inside the church. Honestly, just as the Bible tells us, we will lose a lot of things.

You might displease your workmates or even your boss for doing your work honestly and without compromise. You may refuse to do what you know is a sin before God’s eyes but what may be a widespread practice in the workplace.

You might end up being killed by the authorities for refusing to recant your faith, knowing that it is better to lose your life than renounce Christ, for Christ is worth losing everything. 

As a woman, you might end up growing old and single, not marrying at all because, as a servant of Christ, you want to obey Him when He said not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. The same goes for the men who choose not to pursue a woman out of visual appearance and sensuality but wait for one who embodies godly wisdom, humility, and genuine reverence to God.

Even within the context of the church community, you might end up losing friends when you point out the truth of what the Bible says and denounce subjective perceptions. Your allegiance is not to human-centered preferences and tolerance but to the truth of God’s Word, for truth is Christ Himself. You may act graciously to the best of your ability, yet even so, you will never be able to please all men.

Though we do it with gentleness and grace and in a manner worthy of the Gospel, out of honoring and pleasing Christ because we are His bondservants, we will end up displeasing others. We will lose things and people. We will be reviled, hated, misunderstood, and persecuted.

Are those losses worth it? The answer is a resounding, “Yes!” For as Jesus said, “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?” (Matthew 16:26 ESV). Even the apostle Paul counted all of his accomplishments as rubbish compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ (Philippians 3:8).

Christ, whom we serve, is our greatest treasure. In Him, we might not have all that we want, but indeed, we have all that we need. Christ, who mediates for us, allows us to bask in the radiant glory of God in whom our greatest and sweetest pleasure, completeness, and satisfaction lies. God is not just the rays of the sun but the sun Himself. Oh, how majestic, beautiful, and glorious He is. In Christ, we have the privilege of gazing at the beauty of the Lord, the most beautiful of all in whom not just our eyes but our soul is well satisfied (Psalm 16:2).

How Can I Pray if I Tend to Please People?

First, we can try to understand and reflect on why we tend to please other people. Though there are many reasons for this, one of the common reasons is insecurity. We are insecure because we don’t have a secure sense of love, approval, and acceptance. So we seek that security from other people, whether they are Christians or not. Hence, we try to please them so that we can get love and approval.

We must realize the love of God for us in Christ even more. Paul prayed similarly for the church in Ephesus, as mentioned in Ephesians 3:15-19. He prayed that they would comprehend the breadth, length, height, and depth and know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge so that they may be filled with all the fullness of God. 

Only when we realize the love of God in Christ will we be secure in Him alone. Hence, Paul said in Galatians 2:20 that the life he lives now is for Christ, who died for him and loved him. To Paul, it didn’t matter if men were pleased or not; what mattered was living his life for Christ, who loved him.

Father in heaven, open my eyes to the breadth, length, height, and depth of Your love for me in Christ. May such love consume me and always be the source of my security. Open my eyes to the truth: Despite how undeserving I am of Your grace, You were gracious nonetheless through Christ. May Your love cause me to serve and honor You and live not as a bondservant of men but of Christ, who died for me. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

Being bondservants of Christ means valuing what God’s Word says above all. Our conscience is not captive to the words of men but to the Words of God, which He has revealed in the Scriptures.