A Prayer For A Spouse

While men actively seek and pursue women to be their spouse, and women actively wait and make themselves known for men to pursue them, ultimately, a spouse comes from the LORD. Just as God is the source of all things, it is also from Him that our spouse comes. That does not mean we should wait for our spouse to just miraculously show up. It means that God’s providence is at work as we seek a spouse. A good example of this is the servant of Abraham who sought a spouse for Isaac, yet in the end, God brought Rebekah to Isaac.

Heavenly Father, as I actively pray and seek a spouse, I know that they ultimately come from You. Lead me to the best spouse I could ever have, and give me the grace to be properly prepared for it. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

What Is An Ideal Spouse According To The Bible?

You can better pray for a spouse by knowing what an ideal spouse should be. You can pray that God will bring her into your life or help you find such a person. Of course, there is no other place to look for a standard of an ideal spouse beyond the Bible, where we can find God’s instructions for how we ought to live our lives. If the Bible prescribes that we are to walk with wise companions and friends (He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. Proverbs 13:20), surely it also has something to say about what kind of person our life companion should be.

The first charge for believers is to find a spouse who is also a believer. In 2 Corinthians 6:14, the apostle Paul charges the church in Corinth not to be unequally yoked to fellow believers, for what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or fellowship that those in light have with darkness? The passage does not mean we should not eat with unbelievers, as Jesus ate with them and preached the Gospel to them. That is different from marrying someone.

While the passage does not specifically mention marriage, Christians have embraced the practicality of the passage, even when it comes to choosing a spouse they wish to marry. Christian men ought to pursue Christian women, and Christian women ought to give their “yes” to a Christian man. Why? First, let’s take a practical look at the situation. If you are a Christian and you marry someone who does not believe in God or has a different religion, would that person help you grow in Christlikeness and holiness? Will he or she understand why you do what you do in church? Will they respect the ministry that you do? If you are a husband, will your wife submit to you, just as the church submits to Christ? (Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Ephesians 5:22-24) Likewise, if you are a wife, will your husband surrender to Christ, live his life for Him, and also gladly lay down his life for you, as Christ called him to do? (Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Ephesians 5:25) What about your kids? What values will you teach them?

 

The truth of dying to ourselves daily (Galatians 2:20), outdoing one another in showing honor (Romans 12:10), being gentle and kind to one another (Ephesians 4:32), and serving one another (Mark 10:45), which are essential in marriage, are truths that are only present in the Christian faith. That is why, if we pray and seek out a spouse, we should pray and seek someone who is also a believer.

While the standard for the kind of spouse we should seek starts with being a believer, there are other qualities we should also look for. For example, a person may be a believer but remains immature in the faith. Spiritual maturity is one of the qualities we should look for. For a woman who is praying for a husband, they should seek a man who is respectable, self-controlled, hospitable, sober-minded, a lover of good, upright, and disciplined (1 Timothy 3:1-7; Titus 1:7-9). Those qualities we mentioned are from the passage where Paul gave instructions to Timothy, and in a separate letter, to Titus, talking about the qualities of an overseer. It applies to all Christians, not just men who are aspiring overseers, because the context of where Paul was coming from was that an overseer must at least be a mature Christian, and he listed those qualities as a definition.

If you are a man seeking a wife, Proverbs 31 is always the go-to. It lists the qualities of an ideal godly woman. For men actively seeking and praying to God for a spouse, while attraction is a part of the equation, attraction should go beyond the surface. We ought not to be driven by physical attraction alone but also by a woman’s character, heart, and soul. Proverbs 31:30 says that charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.. Proverbs 31:30). No matter how beautiful a woman may look, it is all pointless if she doesn’t revere God, acknowledge Him in all of her ways, and live a glorifying life towards God.

Proverbs 31 shows us that a godly woman is a woman of wisdom and prudence. She prepares beforehand and is ready for whatever may come. She is also hardworking and diligent. She has a trustworthy character, full of integrity, which the heart of her husband trusts. She is strong and resilient yet also kind, caring, and gentle. Most of all, she fears God. She acknowledges that God is holy and lives a holy life, and strives to honor God in everything she does. Her life shines and points people toward God. How Can I Pray For A Spouse?

You can pray for a spouse by asking God to give you a spouse! As mentioned, a spouse ultimately comes from God. Even in Genesis 2:18, it is God who provided a wife for Adam, and likewise, it is God who gave a husband to Eve. God joins two people together, and no man should separate them (Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:6). God’s providence provides us with the spouse we need.

While our spouse is indeed the result of God’s providential work in our lives, we also have to do something for ourselves. Men must actively involve themselves in the church community and see if there are any godly woman to consider as a potential spouse. Women must make themselves present in the church community so that godly men may get to know and pursue them as good potential partners. However, we are not just to actively look and pursue or wait, but also to pray. Sometimes we do not have something because we do not ask for it (Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. James 4:2). Prayer is also one of the means that God has ordained for Him to bring about His will and grant us the things we desire.

When you ask and pray to God for a spouse, don’t just pray that God will give you one. You should pray that God will lead you to the person who will be a perfect fit for you (not necessarily “perfect” or compatible)—someone who is spiritually mature and has the qualities that would make a person a good spouse.

Father in heaven, everything comes from You. I pray to be in a relationship and get married in the coming season. I ask You for a spouse who is a mature believer, with whom we could both stir up one another in faith, love, good works, and holiness. I pray that You will lead me to such a person and that we will be able to develop a good relationship and glorify You with it. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

There are certain qualities that the Bible tells us to look for in a spouse. However, we must also note that there is no such thing as a perfect spouse, just as there is no perfect person. While we may find those qualities in a certain person, that person is still a work in progress (Philippians 1:6; Hebrews 10:14). He or she continues to grow in Christlikeness and holiness, just as you do (2 Corinthians 3:18; Romans 8:29). However, we run the race together with them as we are being transformed into the image of Christ, from one degree of glory to another.