How to Pray Without Being Religious

Being “religious” is a term used in Christian circles to refer to believers who seem to have knowledge about the Scriptures, who go to church on Sundays with perfect attendance, memorize Bible verses, the laws of God, and the things of God, yet seem to miss out on the very essence of faith—relationship with God, loving others as yourself, and the fruits of the Holy Spirit, such as joy, peace, patience, and gentleness (see Galatians 5:22-23). They tend to act outwardly, rather than inwardly. Jesus compared the Pharisees and Sadducees who were “religious” to whitewashed tombs, for they cared more about looking beautiful on the outside, but were spiritually dead on the inside (see Matthew 23:27). 

Jesus didn’t like the idea of us being religious, unless we had a real relationship with Him. For instance, we can pretend to be perfect, but God wants us to be authentic before Him. He wants us to be real in our struggles, weaknesses and imperfections, such that His grace can work perfectly on our weaknesses. James 4:6 says that God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humility causes us to be real before God, while in our struggle to be perfect in our own ways, we become religious and proud in the eyes of God.

So, how do you pray without being religious? Just be real before God. Tell Him what’s in your heart. Form a relationship with Him and talk to Him as you would do to a very close friend. God is more concerned with the state of your heart than the perfection and formality of your words in prayer. Here is a simple prayer:

Lord, today isn’t a good day. I don’t have to hide from You that I was angry and offended at that rude customer. I surrender my heart to You, Lord. I forgive that person and bless her. Forgive me too, Jesus, and help me be more Christlike, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Moreover, Jesus also talked about religiosity in Matthew 6:2, wherein believers pray in order to be seen by men. Instead, when praying, it is better to be seen by God in secret, as He sees the deepest things in our hearts, even if men may not recognize, give praise or appreciate us for it. He also talked about not sounding the trumpet when giving charity to the poor, just for the sake of being seen by men. He called these kinds of acts hypocritical. 

God doesn’t want you to focus on your outward appearance, seeking approval and praise from men. Rather, to truly please God, you must live for His credit alone, even if men may not applaud you for it.

How can I have a relationship with God?

To have a true relationship with God, and not just to be religious for the sake of religion, is to get to know Him through the Word. When you make a friend for the first time, don’t you ask questions of that friend to get to know them better? Don’t you take time to look into their social media accounts and check out their interests, thoughts, and pictures to see what they like or dislike? It’s the same thing in our relationship with God. We have the Word of God as His autograph, His love letter to us, and His biography through the life of Jesus Christ. Through the Word of God, we get to learn about God’s principles, what He likes, dislikes, loves, and hates. The more you spend time reading the Bible, the closer you will grow to the heart of the Father, particularly as you apply what He says, do what He says, love what He loves, and hate what He hates.

Religion sometimes tends to make people slaves of God, rather than friends of God. We become religious when we are more concerned with how others may look at us or think of us, and when we beat ourselves up for our mistakes and imperfections, as if we don’t need the Lord. Remember, He works things out for our good, saves us in our tough situations, cleanses us when we stumble, and helps us in our daily walk. Religiosity seeks to be perfect without God, whereas a relationship with God is the perfection of Christ Jesus working inside us. The more we think about the righteousness of Christ and meditate on who He is, rather than on ourselves, the more we become like Him and walk like Him.

To have a relationship with God simply means walking with Him every day and being led by the Holy Spirit. Romans 8:14 says, For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. When you trust in God more than in your abilities, and when you rely on Him more than relying on your own understanding, that is a relationship with God. That is what God wants from His children. 

As you seek the Lord and develop a deeper relationship with Him, may you experience unspeakable joy and peace that surpasses all knowledge and understanding, in Jesus’ name. May you bless the world with your relationship and intimacy with the Father through Christ Jesus.