How To Pray For Someone That Hurt You

Unfortunately, we will all encounter people who will hurt us in this world. That reality is also true within our church community. The pain and hurt that others may cause us can be very painful, to the point that it breaks our hearts. Sometimes, it can be so painful that it drives a person to one of the lowest moments in their life. However, as much as we want to retaliate and serve justice, the Bible tells us to love and pray for the perpetrator instead.

Father in heaven, you know what happened and the pain and hurt that others have caused me. I pray for wholeness and healing upon my broken heart. I thank You because You are near me and can save my crushed spirit. It is hard to forgive, love, and pray for the well-being of those who have hurt me. That is why I pray for Your grace and strength, LORD. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

What does the Bible say about praying for those who have hurt you?

We can look at three specific verses about praying for those who have hurt us. The first one is from Matthew 5:43-48, wherein Jesus teaches us to love our enemies and pray for those persecuting us. Those who have hurt us are like enemies because they were hostile toward our well-being. However, the response we ought to have is not retaliation but love. One way to show our love for them is by praying for them. 

Jesus taught us the differences between Gentiles and other people who only love those who love them. However, we who are in Christ are different. We also love those who hate us, just as God showed us mercy and grace, despite being sinners. In the Gospel, according to Luke, specifically in (But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. Luke 6:27-28), Jesus said that we are to love our enemies and do good to those who hate us. We are to bless those who curse us and pray for those who abuse us.

The last verse to note is from Romans 12:17-21. It is a passage that contains several verses about showing mercy to others. The apostle Paul teaches us not to repay evil with evil. Instead, we are to do that which is honorable, which is to show mercy to those who have wronged us. He also writes that we must aim to live peaceably with all. 

The passage tells us something else important and comforts those who seek justice by writing that we are not to take vengeance with our own hands but leave it to God because the LORD will repay those debts. Whenever God says something about praying and loving your enemies, despite being hurt, He is not invalidating or turning a blind eye to what others have done to you. He knows everything that has happened, including when you were in tears because of the evil that others have done toward you. The LORD has never turned a blind eye toward our plight and reminds us that He is the One who will repay. It is His job to do, not ours. Our job is to surrender those hurts to Him and love those who have hurt us.

The apostle Paul also writes about what it conveys to our enemies when we respond by doing good instead of doing them evil. If we love them by putting their well-being above ours, it is like heaping burning coals over their heads. The apostle Paul then writes that we are not to overcome evil but rather to overcome evil with good.

The most excellent example of this is Christ Himself. As written in Philippians 2:5-11, we ought to follow the example of Christ’s humility. Christ is God, one of the God-heads, co-eternal with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Yet, when He came to earth, He came not to be served but to serve. He didn’t count Himself equal to God, despite being co-equal with Him being God Himself. When Christ came to do His ministry, He was persecuted, beaten, disrespected, and hurt by people many times. He was betrayed by His very own disciples, who left Him when He was arrested. With all those things combined, He could have easily punished the entire human race for what they did to Him, and He would be justified in doing so. He could have called it quits and never pushed through with our redemption. But He didn’t. Out of grace and mercy, He died for our sins.

Praying and loving those who have hurt you is indeed a difficult thing to do. However, knowing the mercy and grace that God displayed towards us in the person of Christ should make us zealous and passionate in doing it, despite it being difficult. Given our many sins, God could blot us out or abort His redemptive plan for humanity. Instead, He shows mercy and grace. Knowing the mercy and grace we have received in God through Christ constrains us also to forgive, pray, and love those who have hurt us. This comes from the overflow of God’s love in our hearts.

Father in heaven, I thank You because, at any moment, You could have simply left us on our own and not gone through with Your redemptive plan for us, especially with all the offenses that humanity has done towards You and Your Son Jesus. Yet, You showed us mercy, grace, and love by sending Your Son Jesus to the cross, where He died for our sins. May Your love, grace, and mercy continue to dwell in my heart and motivate me to show the same to those who have hurt me and forgive others, just as I am forgiven by You. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

How can I pray for those who have hurt me?

You can pray for those who have hurt you by simply praying for their well-being. When you pray for their well-being, you pray for their best interests, whether those are blessings, things they need, grace, strength, etc. You can ask them specifically about their prayer needs (which would probably shock them, but possibly in a good way), or you can pray whatever you want to pray for them to serve their interests and well-being. You can also ask the Holy Spirit to show you if there are specific things that you should pray for them.

Below is an example of how to pray for those who have hurt you:

Heavenly Father, someone from church has abandoned and betrayed me. Our years of friendship seemed to mean nothing, and after just one mistake, I was treated like I was disposable. It hurts, Father, but I am praying for his well-being despite that. I pray that You will always keep him safe from any harm. Give him the grace he needs for his work and the strength to persevere. Provide him with the things that he needs. But ultimately, I pray that he will continue to grow in his walk with You. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

That said, it is also important to remember that you are not alone as you go through this season of pain. You may feel like you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death alone, but Christ, your good shepherd, is always with you. His rod and staff will comfort you, and He will lead you everywhere you go. As written in Psalm 23, He is your shepherd, in whom God’s goodness and mercy shall always follow you throughout your life. Also, in ( He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.Psalm 147:3), it is written that the LORD binds up your wounds and heals your broken heart. God can make you whole again in Christ.