What differentiates Christian women from non-Christians when looking for a husband is the ultimate standard that they uphold. That is, a man should be a genuine follower of Christ. Whether a person marries a Christian or not will determine many things in their marriage down the road. That includes whether it is going to be a happy marriage or not. It does not necessarily mean that it will be a perfect marriage if you marry a Christian, but still, the difference compared to marrying a non-Christian is significant. For women, their prayer is in the context of waiting for a man to pursue and court them. It is the man who should pursue the woman. That is the part where a woman can pray that the man she will give her “yes” to date and then marry is a godly man.
Father in heaven, remind me that as a woman, I am not the one who ought to pursue a man, but it is the man who should pursue a woman. Give me the grace to always rest in the truth that I am secured and loved in Christ. Whether men pursue me or not does change the identity in Christ that makes me Your daughter. Jesus is the only One Who makes me whole. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
What is a faithful husband?
A faithful husband is a man who is faithful only to his wife; a man who won’t have an affair with any other woman or even put himself in a situation that would make him vulnerable. Being faithful means loving only his wife; when it comes to his duties and responsibilities as a husband, you will want your husband to be faithful to provide, protect, and lead.
1 Timothy 3:1–12
This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.
2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;
4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
6 Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.
7 Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
8 Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre;
9 Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.
10 And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless.
11 Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.
12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.
That is exactly the reason why, if you are a Christian woman, you must and should only consider a man who is a genuine follower of Christ. A godly man will strive to do the things we mentioned above. A godly man provides, protects, and leads his wife because as a Christian he is expected to do this. He strives to do those things out of his obedience to God. You can never expect any man who is not a Christian to seek to do these things. What makes Christian men different from non-Christian men is their relationship with Jesus. Because they are in Christ, they have this grace that allows them to grow more in Christlikeness and holiness as the Holy Spirit sanctifies them. A Christian man has a regenerated heart and he desires to honor God and fear Him. Only a man who genuinely encounters Christ will practice an upright and holy life, because Christ has changed his life. That is something you cannot find in any non-Christian man. Indeed, a Christian man is not perfect, but God’s sanctification is at work in his life. These are all the things that you can never find from a non-Christian man. A Christian man who Christ radically changes strives to conform his life according to the Word of God, which commands him to love his wife just as Christ loved the church.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:
11 For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men,
12 Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;
13 Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ;
14 Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.
Father in heaven, give me the grace to preserve myself for a godly man who fears You and is committed to following Christ and to never settle for anything less. I also pray that just as I want a godly man to be my husband, I shall not make an idol out of my ideals and miss out on getting to know godly men just because they didn’t meet my ideals. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
What the Bible says about praying for a husband
Surely, some non-Christian men are faithful to their wives and have good character. But that is still not a qualifying reason to consider a non-Christian man as your husband. The Bible commands us never to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. That is the ultimate standard that we adhere to as Christians. Being a genuine Christian is a non-negotiable trait you should never compromise. If you were to compromise, things might seem okay at first, but later on and in the long run, you will regret that you didn’t obey God
2 Corinthians 6:14
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?
An unbeliever may have a good character like a Christian, but a Christian man has a changed heart which an unbeliever can never have apart from Christ. A Christian man’s heart has been turned from a heart of stone to a heart of flesh. He has been made alive by God from his trespasses. That is something an unbeliever couldn’t have by just being a good person. You, as a woman, surely wouldn’t want just a “good person.” You want a man whose heart has been changed and desires to obey God and love Him above all else. Only a godly man can love God more than you. If he loves God, a man will love you and treat you well as his wife.
A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.
Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
Another thing to add is why being “unequally yoked” won’t do you any good. It is hard to be a Christian if your husband is not. What if he practices a different religion? How will you bring him to church? What if he does not want to go to church? Are you going to compromise and go to his religion’s temple or church instead? How about the things that you will teach your future kids? Will you teach them Christian teachings or the teachings of your husband’s religion? That is why marrying an unbeliever is not wise. It’s not worth compromising your relationship with God. Just as the apostle Paul said, what business do we have to be with those in darkness if we are in the light? As God’s daughter, why would you marry someone of the world who is an enemy of God? Keep in mind that you have to submit to your husband as a wife. Are you willing to submit to a man who does not follow Christ?
Father in heaven, I pray that I shall stand firm in upholding my standard, which is to consider only a man who is a genuine follower of Your Son Jesus and whose life has been changed by Him. I pray that I will never be consumed by non-essential traits like outward appearance, wealth, and status, but that I will look more into the trait that matters, which is a man’s faithfulness to You. I pray that I would look at a godly man just as You look to us – not at the outside appearance but into the heart through the fruits in our lives – if he does indeed fear You, love You, and obey You. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
Having someone preach the Gospel to an unbeliever so that you may consider him as a potential husband is also not an honorable thing to do. In the first place, you should never consider men outside your church or who are not Christians.
How do I pray for a good husband?
A good husband is a godly husband. As you desire a godly husband, you can simply ask God to bring you a godly man who will cherish you and pursue you. What you can do is just pray and wait. Remember that it is the man’s job to pursue, not you.
Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
God is our Father. If you want to marry and meet a godly man who will be your spouse, you have to ask God. But before asking God, it is important to make sure that You are seeking the kingdom of God first and that your heart’s delight is in God. You don’t want to make an idol out of romance or marriage. Another thing to remember is that whoever God brings in your life to marry, as you obey His commandments regarding choosing a spouse, you can rest assured that he is good for you. Every good gift comes from God.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
Father in heaven, I pray that I will be able to meet and get to know a godly man who I will marry and spend the rest of our lives together serving You. I also pray that You would open my eyes to the godly men around me to see if I can find a man I would want to marry. Give whoever is the man You have for me the courage to pursue me. I thank You because I will know that the godly man I marry is a good gift from You. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
While we indeed pray and ask God for a godly husband, we should also keep in mind not to be too mystical about it. You can’t just expect a godly man to show up on your doorstep and pursue you suddenly. Sometimes we tend to view things the way they appear in movies, where there is this boy-meets-girl scenario, and we expect the same thing to happen to us. We have to distinguish fiction from reality. Yes, the man pursues, but how would a man know you exist if you don’t mingle with other Christian singles?
Another thing to always be careful of is making an idol out of your ideal partner. This is a dangerous thing that can happen to both men and women. We make an idol out of an ideal kind of spouse that we want, but the problem arises that no godly person meets this criteria for an ideal spouse that we have formed. We have to be realistic in realizing that there is no such thing as a perfect, ideal spouse. The need for someone perfect can only be met by a divine person Who is perfect in every way, and that is God.