Whether a person is a Christian or not, they will undoubtedly encounter someone who will cause them pain. Unfortunately, these people who may hurt us are not just strangers, classmates, or workmates. Even our closest friends can hurt and betray us, causing us unimaginable pain—something that we never expected to have from them. It may be that a close friend that you loved has betrayed you, or you found out the friendship that you thought was genuine was superficial. Whatever it was, what they did has caused significant wounds to you emotionally and mentally. Family members can cause us great pain as well. Our parents may have said something that has cut deep and is still painful even after some years have passed. It could be that your sibling has also done something that has caused you great pain.
The difference between those who are in Christ and those who are not is that those in Christ have God, Who heals them and comforts them. The Bible tells us that God is near to the brokenhearted and that He binds up their wounds. Such grace and privilege are only for those who repented and received Christ as their Lord and Savior. Also, the Bible tells us that God is a comforter for those who are in Christ. God is a God of mercy, Who comforts us in moments of affliction. Another difference between Christians and non-Christians is that whenever they feel the pain caused by other people, Christians are expected to release forgiveness to those who have hurt them.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
Psalm 34:18
The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
A Forgiving Heart Prayer
Psalm 147:3
He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
A Forgiving Heart Prayer
Father in heaven, I thank You because You are the One who heals my broken heart and the One who binds up my wounds. Thank You, Father, because as I go through this season of pain, You are near me and will never leave me nor forsake me. You are the God of mercy and comfort, Who comforts me in times of affliction. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
A Forgiving Heart Prayer
What did Jesus teach about forgiveness?
Jesus has taught us how to respond whenever someone has done us wrong. People believe in “an eye for an eye,” or in other words, you have to retaliate or avenge yourself to square things with those who have hurt you. But that should not be the case for us Christians. As Christians, we have to forgive and love those who have hurt us.
Matthew 6:14-15
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Matthew 18:21-22
21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
Luke 6:37
Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
Mark 11:25
And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
Jesus has taught us that whenever someone has done us wrong, we are to forgive them. Jesus’s teaching is rooted in the truth that if we are truly forgiven by God and have experienced His grace and mercy, then we shall also forgive other people. That is the reason Christians are expected to forgive their transgressors. If they realized how sinful they were and how they were recipients of God’s wrath but were forgiven because of what Christ has done for them on the cross by paying for the penalty of their sin, then they shall humble themselves and forgive others as well. Imagine how angry you are and how you want to exact judgment on someone who has caused you great pain. That is how God also looked at you – before, when you were not yet a follower of Christ – and even greater than that, since God’s wrath is holy because He hates sin. Yet, He showed grace and mercy by sending His Son Jesus so that in Him you may receive forgiveness for your sins. If God forgave us through Christ, who are we to not forgive other people? That is why, if a person is genuinely forgiven by God and understands how God was gracious and merciful to them, they would also forgive others.
Forgiving others is also rooted in obedience toward Jesus. We too want to forgive others—it is what Jesus has commanded us, and because we revere Him, we follow Him. It is also essential to understand that we will benefit from it when we forgive other people. Harboring hatred and bitterness toward other people is like drinking poison and expecting others to suffer. But in reality, it is we who suffer. We have to let go of hatred and bitterness and forgive others.
Heavenly Father, I thank You because You sent Your Son Jesus to pay on the cross for the penalty of my sin. Because of Christ, I am forgiven, and in Him, I have found eternal life. Give me grace, Father, and help me release forgiveness to those who have caused me great pain, just as You have forgiven me. Help me show mercy, just as You have shown me mercy. Help me guard my heart against hatred and bitterness. Instead, may my heart be filled with gratitude, love, and forgiveness. By my strength, it is hard, but I can do it by Your grace and through Christ Who strengthens me. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
What does God say about forgiving those who hurt you?
Besides forgiving others as a response to those who have done us wrong, the Bible tells us that we should not retaliate against them. Sometimes, we want to avenge ourselves and make everything equal. When someone slaps us on our cheek, we want to slap them back on their cheek. However, Jesus taught us that instead of retaliating, we should love our enemies.
Matthew 5:7-9
7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Matthew 5:38-48
38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
Luke 6:27-36
27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,
28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.
29 And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also.
30 Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again.
31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.
32 For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them.
33 And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same.
34 And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.
35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.
Jesus said that we are to love our enemies, do good to those who hate us, bless those who persecute us, and pray for those who abuse us. That is the exact opposite of retaliation. That is what separates Christians from non-Christians. Non-Christians will probably love and do good to only those who haven’t hurt them, and if people do hurt them, they will avenge themselves. But we who are in Christ, knowing how God was gracious and merciful to us, respond to those who have wronged us with grace and mercy. We don’t love only those who do us good.
Doing this is indeed very hard, and we will never be able to accomplish it on our own. That is why we will need God’s grace. We also need God’s grace to endure and persevere when it comes to forgiving and loving those who have caused us pain. Know that, as you endure and do those things, you are heaping up rewards in heaven. You will reap by God’s grace as long as you don’t give up.
Galatians 6:9
And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
Another thing to keep in mind is that God is a just God. Everyone will be held accountable for what they’ve done. That includes Christians (this is not a judgment similar to unbelievers). That is why even we have to be careful with everything that we do—so that we don’t hurt other people. There will be a time when Jesus comes again and God will right every wrong. Whatever pain or suffering you go through because of others, God does not turn a blind eye to them. He is the one Who will avenge you. That is why we should never judge and avenge others ourselves—it is not our role, but God’s. Our part is to forgive others and be gracious to them.
Romans 12:19
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
Romans 14:12
So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.
Revelation 21:4
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
Heavenly Father, give me the grace to not just release forgiveness to those who have wronged me but also show them grace and mercy. Help me to be merciful toward them just as You have been merciful to me. Give me the grace to love and pray for those who have hurt me and bless them instead of cursing them. Remind me, Father, to never judge and avenge myself, for vengeance is Yours. Give me the grace to persevere and endure in loving those who have hurt me. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
A Forgiving Heart Prayer
It takes grace for our hearts to release forgiveness to those who have wronged us. It is also essential to always connect with fellow believers as you go through that season. You will need fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to be there to encourage you, pray for you, and weep with you. Most of all, always cling to Christ, Who is gentle and Whose yoke is easy.