How To Pray To God For Help In A Relationship

There is no perfect relationship, just as there are no perfect people. Even if we are Christians, we still commit mistakes and sin from time to time. However, that does not mean that we remain that way. It only means that the Holy Spirit is sanctifying us. Sanctification is a process. It is not an overnight result but a lifelong process. While we are still works in progress, being molded by the Holy Spirit to become more and more like Jesus every single day, we will see our sins as still there but being sanctified as time goes on. 

1 Thessalonians 5:23

And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Because we are all still works in progress, it is unavoidable that we will experience tensions in our relationships. We will offend or hurt others, and others will do the same to us. That is so when it comes to our relationships with unbelievers, whether they are family or friends, and when it comes to our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Our relationships with our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ are things the Bible addresses in several places. 

How can I pray for my relationship?

Knowing how and what to pray for your relationship means first knowing certain biblical truths. We will talk about where you will know what and how to pray for your relationships in those biblical truths. When we talk about relationships, we are not talking about romantic relationships only. We will discuss things applicable to any relationship, whether of friends, couples, families, etc. 

The first thing that we will point out here is that the Bible expects that riffs between people can happen. It teaches us how to respond whenever riffs happen between us and someone else. In Matthew 18:21-22, Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive a brother who has sinned against him. Jesus answered that he should forgive him not seven times but seventy-seven. That does not mean that seventy-seven offenses are the limit, and after that, we can hold a grudge and lash out at someone. Jesus was using a metaphor here. He was telling Peter that we are not to limit how many times we forgive those who have sinned against us, even if we are unjustly wronged, and we are to forgive them with no limitations. In Luke 6:27-31, Jesus takes it even further. Wherever we have enemies – whether in the church, at home, or with our friends or unbelievers – we are not to retaliate and avenge ourselves. Instead, we are to love them. Loving our enemies means not retaliating. It means giving them your tunic if they took your cloak and turning the other cheek if they slapped you on one cheek. When we love our enemies, we love them an extra mile.

Matthew 18:21-22

21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Luke 6:27-31

27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,

28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.

29 And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also.

30 Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again.

31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.

Other people will, at some point, wrong us one way or another, whether they are unbelievers or believers. A brother or sister in Christ may have done something that deeply hurt us. A husband may have done something that hurt his wife, or a parent might have hurt his or her child. The Bible says that even if we are angry or hurting because of others, as God’s chosen ones, we must be compassionate, kind, humble, meek, and patient toward them. We bear with them, forgive them, love them, and stay with them even if they have hurt us and we have complaints against them. That is why love means covering someone’s offenses. It does not mean being in denial that a person has wronged you. You know they did, but you choose to cover it and love them instead. It is about forgiving others and showing them mercy, just as God forgave us and showed us mercy through Christ.

Colossians 3:12-13

12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;

13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

Ephesians 4:32

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

From the perspective of someone who has wronged others, the biblical truth is for us to first initiate reconciliation. If we know that we have wronged someone, we should approach the person we have wronged and seek reconciliation with them. We can’t just worship before God, knowing that we have wronged someone and not given care about it. Even if you don’t know that you have wronged someone, the Holy Spirit shall convict you of sin and impress on you that you have to apologize to someone because what you did was wrong. That is where humility also comes in. We have to be humble to acknowledge that we are the ones in the wrong, and therefore, we should apologize to the person we have offended.

Matthew 5:23-24

23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;

24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

Proverbs 11:2

When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom.

Philippians 2:3

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

With all of those biblical truths that needed to be given, there are two perspectives from which you can pray. First, we will discuss how to pray to God for help in a relationship from the perspective of someone who has been wronged. As you have read by now, how we should respond to someone who has wronged us is in love, forgiveness, compassion, humility, kindness, and meekness. We are to bear with them. Having that said, what you can pray is for those things to be evident in you and that this is how you will always respond toward the person who has been making the relationship difficult for you. For example, if your father has an attitude problem that makes your relationship with him very difficult, you can ask God to help you be loving, forgiving, humble, and kind toward your father. With that, you can pray to God for the grace and strength to be able to do those things. That is where the verse Philippians 4:13 comes in. Even if it is very hard, you can be humble, loving, kind, and forgiving to your father or whoever has wronged you through Christ, Who strengthens you. Responding in a Christlike manner toward those who have wronged us and hurt us is difficult. That is why we are to ask God for help.

Philippians 4:13 

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

To add to the paragraph above, there are also cases where you should leave a person who has been hurting you. An example of such a case is an abusive boyfriend/girlfriend. You also have to exercise wisdom and discernment to decide if the relationship is something you should cut off. Depending on the case, it could be the best thing to do. But when it comes to most situations, we should keep loving, forgiving, and showing mercy to those who have wronged us.

Here is how you can pray to God for help with a relationship from the perspective of someone who has been wronged:

Heavenly Father, You are the God Who gives grace and empowers me. Help me never respond in anger or retaliation against the people who have wronged me. Instead, give me the grace to respond in love, forgiveness, humility, kindness, and meekness. Help me fight for our relationship, bear with them, and always cover their offenses as I love them. Those things would be possible for me to do only by Your grace and strength through Christ. Help me to always reflect the character of Christ to people in my life who are challenging to love. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

Now, from the perspective of the one who has wronged someone, how you pray to God for help is more about asking God for help to be humble and apologize to the person you need to apologize to. You still pray to be Christlike in that you are showing humility by acknowledging your mistakes. You can also pray for the Holy Spirit to convict you and open your eyes more to what you have done wrong, so that you may not just apologize to the person but also repent from it.

Here is an example of how you can pray to God and ask Him for help as you apologize and make amends toward the people you have wronged:

Heavenly Father, You are a holy God. Help me to also be holy in my actions and do that which is right by seeking reconciliation with those to whom I have done wrong. I pray that You would give me the grace to be humble, acknowledge that it is my mistake, and make amends with the people I have hurt. Convict me of sin, Holy Spirit, and help me repent from it. Let this time be when I grow more in sanctification and Christlikeness. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

Loving people who are difficult to love is demanding indeed. However, we should do it because God chose to love us and gave up His Son Jesus for us, even though we are a challenge to love because of our sin. So, we too are to love others no matter how difficult it is to love them. We are to show mercy just as God showed us mercy. Also, we should strive to keep the practice of not being proud but humble enough to acknowledge our mistakes because this is how we will grow as Christians. Despite the tensions and riffs that can happen in our relationships with fellow believers, we can still do life together as we forgive and bear with one another in love.